There Is A Person Here, Somewhere, But How To Define Her?

 I've never particularly understood how to introduce myself. Part of this, of course, is due to having continued struggles with knowing what is expected from me, with knowing what people want to hear about or would actually be interested in listening to. But another part is that, in the moment, and often in general, I can't figure out the words to describe who I am in a simple set of phrases. When I write characters, I have the liberty of taking as long as I need, the liberty of being able to describe a person through their actions. However, I am expected to use words for myself, and words that paint something cohesive at that.

Likely, then, it is little wonder that I seek stories, that I have this need to create within me (even when such a thing is frustrated by my hand freezing up by having no ideas what I could begin to draw), and that when I write lyrics, it is from perspectives other than my own. After all, I do not know what in my life is notable enough to focus on, and I cannot find what is or isn't special when I have no other baseline, no other lives I have lived to understand from. All I know is that I want, or need, to create.

I know in many ways I am a majority. I am white, I am cisgender, I can physically move as society expects (mostly). But living on the spectrum means knowing that I am not fully Normate, that I am Other, that I am someone who acts Different and that this will be Noticed. Online, I can find people like me in ways I could not expect, maybe those with similar interests, maybe those who understand the things I've been through. I've found it easier to make friends with those who are a little off the path of what's deemed "normal", those who know that people don't live and think the same.

"In an electric information environment, minority groups can no longer be contained— ignored." (Marshall McLuhan)